Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize