did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
COCAINE IS GR8
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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