these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
