Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
high people should be assigned attendants
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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