you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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