OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
