The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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