all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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