Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
