just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
