I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize