one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
