it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
