Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
