I look better un-naked...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
