so explain again why im purple
no
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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