So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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