I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
