I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
third nipple confirmed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
