I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
