he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
