well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
