Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
