3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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