honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize