You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
