you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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