If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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