But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
