Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
