All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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