No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize