You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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