This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It's Friday. Sex?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
