i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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