i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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