porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
