I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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