At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
