Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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