The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize