Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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