please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
