I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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