WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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