wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
don't judge my taste in strippers
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
