it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
