"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
