You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Vodka?
Forever.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
