You made me cry and you don't even care
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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