Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We talked him into tasing himself.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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