i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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