And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
