Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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