I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Barsexuality is the new black.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
