I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
