In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
