Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
