ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Terrible idea I love it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
