Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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