She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
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