im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We need to rekindle our bromance
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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