I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
