you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
