hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
try to milk me bitch
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