A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
