these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
