There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize