Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
