he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
