everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
