well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize