How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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