PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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