I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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