were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
