i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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