Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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