remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize