i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
